I admit it. At one time if I saw someone who appeared to have it better than I did, I was very jealous of that individual. If I thought his/her life was better than mine, I was consumed with jealousy. I wished that I had what they had. Whether they had a thinner body, or had more money, or “advanced” children, I was jealous and believed that their lives were much better than mine. After my son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago, I was consumed with anger, sadness, bitterness and wallowed in self pity. “Why” as I thought. I had a difficult childhood, and the struggles just continued on and had to watch my child struggle as well. I perceived others of having an easier life than I did, especially at that time if their children were typical. I was extremely miserable and my jealousy added to the misery. I believe it is okay to have some healthy envy, which is yearning for something that someone else has without the resentment. Envy can trigger motivation. For instance, you have extra weight and notice someone else who is slimmer. You will think to yourself “Gosh, I wish I had that figure”, then you realize, “Hey, I CAN have that figure if I work for it”. However, jealousy is envy with resentment, hate and anger towards the other person who has something that you want. Jealousy is a normal human emotion and even the most enlightened person will experience jealousy from time to time. However, the difference is, someone who is truly enlightened will feel the jealous emotion, then let it pass, and accept that we all have our individual gifts and challenges. Someone who is sending out low vibrations all of the time will dwell on the jealousy and anger for a long time, focus on the person who he or she is jealous of, and neglect their blessings. I was like that for a long, long time. As I had become more enlightened and realized that we choose our challenges and gifts prior to birth, I had become less jealous. Sure, I admit at times I wish that my son did not have autism. I admit when I see someone’s five year old is communicating like a five year old should as my five year old son is speech delayed, I get down at times. But, it was obviously a challenge that him and I decided to go through. And the best thing I can do is work with him and make sure he is getting the right therapy, so he will have great odds at having a good future and living well independently. And I have come to realize, even if someone else doesn’t have that kind of challenge with their child, I can guarantee you that they are experiencing a challenge that I don’t have. Some people may have less challenges than you, but no matter what, no one’s life is free of challenges. The reason I am writing this blog is because I had discovered that someone on my facebook page who had not only deleted me from her list, but blocked me did so, because this person was very jealous of me. This person thought that I had the perfect life!!! If this person really knew of what I had been through and understood the challenges I deal with on a daily basis, I am sure this person may possibly regret her actions and beliefs about me. However, this is a good lesson for me as well. The next time I forget myself and dwell on someone’s good fortune (well we all have bad moments and bad days, it could happen), I should remember this. Just because someone appears to have it all, that does not mean that he or she does. If you are jealous of someone’s perceived fortune, experience the emotion, but let it pass and realize that you have gifts that this person does not.
